November 11th

         Today is November 11, I've been living a hell of a day. Throughout this day I've been feeling down for many reasons. You know, I'm not the type of person that goes away from something wide shut. I'm the opposite, so I must learn to deal with these crises in my everyday life.
         Although I've never been the luckiest into something. I always try to keep my head straight. I believe that friendships are built with trust and I trust all my friends and I'd never betray them or make them to stay back in something. I am a really idiot sometimes because I make friendships really fast, which means that I trust people really fast and treat them all equally. What makes me really sad is to find people that you consider close friends and at the first opportunity they put you at stake. If someone doesn't like me, I give my best to find the cause and repair my mistakes in order to take this barricade down... and this is a selfish attitude because, actually, I don't feel comfortable to lay down knowing that someone's angry at me or someone's misjudging me.
        I am not the perfect person, the best student or the good guy. I am someone full of mistakes wanting to be corrected and listened. I love my dogs you know.. eventhough they piss me off sometimes, they've never turned me down and whenever I need them to be with me, just to make company or to talk - I love talking to my dogs - they are there, stood up next to me, keeping the guard.
      Well, sometimes every excitement I have and energy that makes me to go further into something disappear whenever someone is deceitful with me; whenever someone discourages me or treat me bad with no reasoning. When this kind of stuff happens, I usually lose my ways, my focus into what I'm working on and get confused about my aims and my behaviour with other people. Because deep inside every gesture people around do to me is meaningful to my life and when I got the feeling that there's something wrong, it seems that I'm doing everything wrong, that I am misucceeding and that I should be doing something else...
         Just to let it out, sorry I hate to get these things stucked.

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