Destroying the Past

When I looked back at her face, it was already way too late. I felt I was about to lose my temper then I left home. I don't know that was the right thing to do nor I should have done something different. Now, here, sitting in this rooftop and watching the waves breaking the shore it's just washing my thoughts away. I still rememember two years ago.

"hey wanna share a sit? You'd rather don't smoke..."  i said while I sat and watched everyone dancing in some kind of frenzy all over the dancefloor.
" I don't know, is there gonna be any reward in case I don't do it?" she laughed while was drinking her drink.
"What?" I didn't understand her intentions at first.
"All right, I was just joking." then she drank a little more and put the glass again on the table. " I mean, what's your name? and how old you are?"
"I don't know, does it matter?" I asked straight to her.
"what about tomorrow? I mean your reading me wrong." she turned around her back on me.
"Hey, this is unfair, you are the one who's getting drunk and you won't remember my name!" I responded angrily.

When she turned again and just laughed looking right at my eyes,  I thought:
" Screw me. Again."

Three months later I caught myself at a friend's place talking about my life.

"And you know dude, things went so fast, they just happened. I'd never imagine the situation I'm in now, you see?" I commented.
"Yes, yes, I know." he answered back.

Some months later. I was there again.

"Bud I can't believe she's picking so many fights. It's getting out of my control. I can't stand it.
I'm trying my hard to get things going and moving on, being soft enough to let the conflicts get through us.
But this stubborn girl is pissing me off. I hate it. But I don't know how to move on whitout this anymore.
"Oh, yeah, yes," he said again.

1 year later.

"Dude why she left me?" I asked wondering why she had really gone.
"Seriously, wasn't it over?" he complained.
"I don't know. I think it'll never end from now on." I usually stared through his window at the horizon outside.
"Don't do it man." he said.
"I ain't got control anymore."

Since the day I learned this overwhelming feeling that gave me this idea of protection; a precise future; a family; love and every basis a man needs to live on; I created in her arms my shelter and from that time on I felt like I had no home, nobody, no her.

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